Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
