So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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