Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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