Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
