that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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