i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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