Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
