More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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