man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
