No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
