You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
