he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
