ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
