He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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