girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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