I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize