We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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