i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think people are normalizing furries
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
