Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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