Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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