What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
