Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
