i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
