Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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