I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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