Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize