im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Found the puke drawer
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
