So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
