Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
