Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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