i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
