is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
