Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
