My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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