Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize