I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
