Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
