Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
