I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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