Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can I color on your dick again?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
