Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
