Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely

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(708): View more from Illinois

blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.

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(404): View more from Georgia

There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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(480): View more from Arizona

i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone

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(513): View more from Ohio

well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?

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(404): View more from Georgia

The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.

(404): View more from Georgia

THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.

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