We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize