Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
