I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
