we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just threw up on my dentist
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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