ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
