I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
True strength comes from lack of pants
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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