I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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