the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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