He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
