if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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