This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
