what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
