trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
