i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
