Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
