Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
