Will you blow on my dice?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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