So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
