false alarm. still invincible.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
