Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
