And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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