Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
